We all know the phrase “let’s keep it casual,” but what does it really mean to be “friends with benefits” with someone? Friends with benefits (aka FWB) is a casual sexual relationship with either a friend (duh) or just a random person. The general idea is that you are friends (or at least friendly) with the other person and have a sexual chemistry, but are not interested in pursuing a more serious, romantic, relationship. Successful FWB relationships are strictly sexual and avoid all of the romantic and physical intimacy of a true relationship. For a lot of people, FWB relationships are a great way to scratch a sexual itch without having to commit the time or emotional investment into a full blown relationship. They are also excellent for polyamorous people who are interested in pursuing multiple different types of relationships at one time.
And while some people really thrive in these casual relationships, others have a hard time separating sexual intimacy from emotional intimacy. Begging the question: Is it truly possible to have a sexual relationship without catching feelings? Casual relationships aren’t for everyone, so if you are interested in pursuing a FWB, there are a few ground rules you should ask yourself to keep a FWB situation from becoming too involved.
1. Make sure you’re emotionally mature enough to be FWB
Like we said before, not everyone is cut out for a casual FWB relationship. Sleeping with someone in a non-committal way takes a lot of emotional maturity. Before you start a FWB fling, make sure that you can deal with the different outcomes of the relationship. Adding sex to the equation will never make things easier (though it potentially adds a lot of satisfaction), so ask yourself if you can handle a casual thing from the get go.
Having emotional maturity also means that you are able to evaluate your own wants and needs. Before getting sexually involved with a friend, think about what you really want out of your relationship with them. Are you the type of person that can handle casual sex? Not everyone is. Knowing this about yourself is important before embarking on a FWB relationship so that you chatib dating site arvostelu can protect yourself and your friendships.
Figuring out what’s right for you and your love life can be challenging, but our relationship coaches have seen it all. Let us create a customized lesson plan unique to your situation. Download now to start your free one week trial.
2. Don’t become FWB with someone you already have feelings for
A successful friends with benefits relationship will end when the relationship is no longer serving one/both of you, or when one of you starts dating another person more seriously. You should not go into a friends with benefits relationship expecting (or hoping) for it to become something more serious. Most FWB do not end with you dating your bed buddy! For this reason, you should not become FWB with someone that you are already into. If you agree to just sleep together, you should not expect them to wake up one morning and reciprocate your feelings. And if you are sleeping together, your feelings for the other person will probably only become stronger, which can make the situation even more difficult.
For a lot of people, it’s easy and normal to separate emotional feelings from physical/sexual relationships and that’s what you’re signing up for as a FWB. Sleeping with someone with the hopes that they fall for you is a surefire way to break your own heart. Instead of going for someone that you are romantically interested in, choose someone that you are not romantically attracted to so that things can indeed be casual.